Late-night hosts on Russia inquiry: ‘Get a man who wants you as bad as Mueller wants Manafort’

Comics, including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and Trevor Noah, addressed the Russia investigation and the GOPs latest attempt to replace Obamacare

Late-night hosts on Thursday addressed Robert Muellers escalating probe into Trump campaign ties to Russia and the GOPs proposed legislation to repeal and replace Obamacare.

Things are looking up, especially with the Russia investigation, Stephen Colbert began. Special counsel Robert Mueller has been unearthing all sorts of dirt on the Trump campaigns ties to Russia. And it just came out that Mueller requested documents from the White House related to 13 different areas in which investigators are seeking information, including some of the biggest stories since Trump took office.

Colbert continued: Classics like the Trump tower meeting with the Russian lawyer, Sally Yates warning the White Souse about Michael Flynn, the Oval Office meeting with the Russian ambassador, the firing of James Comey, Flynns FBI interview, and literally anything having to do with Paul Manafort.

Its all collected here on Now Thats What I Call Collusion, Volume 45, Colbert quipped. Now, Mueller seems to be closing in on former campaign manager and Draculas fun uncle, Paul Manafort. Yesterday, we found out that even though he repeatedly said no contacts with Russians, his emails now reveal that while he was Trumps campaign manager Manafort offered to give a Russian billionaire private briefings on the 2016 campaign.

The billionaire is Oleg Deripaska, whos among the two to three oligarchs Putins turned to on a regular basis, the host continued. Its two to three, depending on whos been poisoned this week.

While Manafort made the offer, we dont know if these briefings ever happened, and Manaforts spokesman said these emails just reflected an innocuous effort to collect past debts, Colbert explained. You know, innocuous effort to trade presidential campaign secrets for cash. He was just going back and forth between the man he worked for and the man he secretly worked for.

One of the emails contain cryptic mentions of black caviar, which instigators believe is a veiled reference to payments Manafort hoped to receive, Colbert said. Either that, or black caviar describes how Steve Bannon reproduces.

Jimmy Kimmel of ABC discussed the Graham-Cassidy healthcare bill, legislation proposed by senators Lindsey Graham and Bill Cassidy that would repeal and replace Obamacare.

If youve been watching over the past few days, and you havent, Ive found myself in a the middle of a battle over American healthcare, Kimmel began. After my son Billy had open heart surgery at the end of April, the senator Bill Cassidy came on our show and made some promises and assurances he did not keep. The reason I had him on the show in the first place is because he started telling people any plan hed support would have to pass what he called the Jimmy Kimmel test. And then, he teamed up with senator Lindsey Graham to write a bill that most definitely does not pass that test.

Kimmel continued: It doesnt protect people from having their rates priced up for preexisting conditions, it doesnt prevent insurance companies from putting lifetime caps on how much theyll spend on a person with medical issues, and it cuts a huge amount of money from healthcare funding.

Kimmel then showed president Trumps tweet about the bill, in which he express his support for the legislation and promised again to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act.

Those are the key words, repeal and replace, Kimmel said. For Donald Trump, this isnt about the Graham-Cassidy bill, its about getting rid of Obamacare, which he hates primarily because Obamas name is on it. He likes to have his name on things. At this point, hed sign anything to get rid of Obamacare. Hed sign copies of the Quran at the Barnes & Noble in Fallujah if it meant he could get rid of Obamacare.

Some people tell me I should give him the benefit of the doubt, and I do give him the benefit of the doubt, Kimmel said, in reference to Senator Cassidys about-face. I doubt all the benefits he claims are part of the new healthcare bill.

But I do admire what hes done with most of his life, the host continued. Hes a doctor, a gastroenterologist, he founded a community clinic in Baton Rouge. Hes done good things. I just want him to keep doing good things. His plan is not a good thing.

His supporters say hes a doctor and youre not, what do you know? Kimmel added. To them I say: all of these very reputable organizations, the American Diabetes Association, American Medical Association, American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, all of these groups, populated by doctors, say this healthcare bill is bad.

We havent seen this many people come forward to speak against the bill since Cosby, Kimmel joked.

Meanwhile, Trevor Noah of Comedy Central discussed the Russia investigation, zeroing in on the ways its subject have so far avoided answering tough questions.

Over the last few weeks, weve seen a barrage of hurricanes hammer the Carribean and the Atlantic coast, Noah began. But for the White House, theres been another storm brewing, one that could also leave them without power. Im talking, of course, about Hurricane Mueller.

One of Muellers recent targets has been Paul Manafort, Trumps campaign chairman and undercooked Sylvester Stallone, Noah joked, showing news coverage of reports that the FBI conducted an overnight raid of Manaforts home.

Surprise visits in the middle of the night? All up in his phone? Noah said. Ladies, get you a man who wants you as bad as Mueller wants Manafort.

Trevor Noah on the Russia investigation

I get why Manafort is drawing this much heat, because everything hes done until now has been shady, Noah said, with regard to the most recent reports that Manafort offered briefings to a Putin-affiliated Russian oligarch. Ask yourself this: when has the phrase Russian oligarch ever been a good thing? Its like the word a cappella concert, or unmarked van, or homemade condom.

Thanks to the Russian investigation, weve learned so many new ways to avoid questions. Youve got Manafort with the stutter step, Mike Pence with the smoke screen, and if you really want to know how to not answer a question, theres only one man you can go to: Master Spice.

Noah then showed a clip of Spicers recent interview with ABC News, in which he responded to questioning about the Russia prove by saying Im not going to discuss that issue at all four times.

Did you catch that look at the end there? Noah concluded. Thats a man who knows where the bodies are buried.

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2017/sep/22/late-night-hosts-russia-probe-mueller-manafort-colbert-kimmel-noah

Stephen Deciphers Paul Manafort's Code Word 'Black Caviar'

Emails from Trump's former campaign manager contain cryptic mentions of 'black caviar,' which investigators believe means much more than dark fish eggs.

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